


kenny fucking dies and yet doesnt by work of god

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, South Park, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, capitalism - Fandom
Genre: Kenny Dies, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-24 00:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kenny wants to figure out how to Not Die. Will his old and new friends help him? Or will his rivaling enemies, mc ride and Anthony Fantano, take his spot as number 1?





	1. design by creation

It was a ripe Tuesday afternoon and Kenny was waiting patiently for his moment to die. He never knew when exactly it would happen, but he knew it was some time in the afternoon, so there he sat in his chair. 

He used to die by work of his friends but he had killed them. He thought that maybe it would end the never-ending nightmare that was dying and being born anew, but alas, his problems were yet to disappear. Because of this, he would die randomly, sometimes out of nowhere, other times odd things happening in his house where he lived with his friend Sollux Captor. 

Kenny noticed that his inescapable death was taking a little longer than usual. "Maybe the time has come," he thought to himself, "Maybe I won't have to die anymore." And as soon as Kenny thought that, he died. 

Oh, the horror, another funeral, another dollar. Komaeda and Karkat looked at the dead body in the casket and weeped heavenly tears, falling onto his face softly. Maybe if they had cried a little more he would come back as an angel. 

Sollux, Kenny's greatest friend, pissed on the two to get them out of the way. He looked at the man below him. "Shit, thith fucking thuckth doethnt it," Sollux said out loud towards his friend. He could hear his spirit say, "For real for real, it really does." Sollux didn't cry. He knew this happened all the time. 

The funeral was over. Kenny's body lay soaked in dirt and worms from the casket breaking. Komaeda and Karkat walked home in pain and couldn't bare to even think of their dead friend again. 

Butters came rushing up behind Sollux in a hurry, seemingly out of breath, sweat covering his face. "Sollux, ya listen hear, okay?" The troll turned around to see a man, shorter than him, clenching his fists. "I don't have the time for this fool, I want to bully children online," Sollux thought as he rebelliously turned back to walk home. "Now wait a minute," Butters said, slurring the words together, "I wanted ta ask if ya know why Kenny keeps on dying n' all." Sollux couldn't contain his anger.

"I don't kid, fuck right off, right now," and he opened his purse to reveal his middle finger, covered in nail polish revealing his love for Communism. "W-well jeez," Butters exclaimed, startled. He couldn't handle commies. He had to stay true to his capitalist ways. With that, Butters ran off, tripping over himself a few times. 

Sollux fished for his keys in his purse and unlocked his front door. To his horrid dismay, xQcOW, better known as xqc, was laying on his couch. He jumped when he heard the door open. "Oh, dd-d-d-d dude, I wasn't expecting you to get hear so early," he said, worryingly, and shut his laptop to hide his hentai. 

"Are you gonna thtream now?" Sollux asked, almost unironically. 

"Y-yeah, of course dude," xqc replied, crawling up the stairs to start his stream. 

"Oh, by the way," Sollux started, "We're getting new roommateth nextht week. They're two famouth guyth or thomthing. Jutht don't pull them into your thtream." xqc nodded his head in understanding. But really......he was terrified.


	2. they come in. can you sense it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> penis

Kenny woke up in his messy bed, shaking his head quickly to wake himself up. He put on his orange parka, despite constantly staying inside, only to go out when he was asked. 

He had awoken to the sound of keyboard smashing and now that he was up he could check what wretched sound had startled him. He made his way down the hall and peaked through xqc's door, seeing him playing Rainbow Six Siege with his new boyfriend. "Mmmf mmmmf?" Kenny inquired. "No I'm streaming extra early now go away," xqc replied. He turned back to face his computer and yelled FUCK because he had died. The fool. "mmmf, mmf mmmm mmfmm mmm mm mmmf mmm?" Kenny asked, and xqc crawled up to the door and slammed it in Kenny's face, killing him instantly. 

xqc read his chat in fear. monkaW.......HE DIED LULW......the horror of twitch chat..........xqc couldn't take it. He ate one of his monitors. Vored it. He loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still god


	3. HE RETURNS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am skeeping slepeing sleeping i meant fuck

MC Ride and his loving girlfriend, Anthony Fantano, stood patiently at the foot of Sollux's door. Their luggage was heavy and filled to the brim with vinyls and music equipment. Sollux ran down to the front door upon xqc's request, and opened it carefully. MC Ride walked in without saying anything, he was just that cool. Anthony followed behind him, worry on his face, fingers intertwined with one another. 

MC Ride walked into the kitchen, trudging his suitcase behind him. Quickly turning around, he asked sollux, "So, where's the Food?" Sollux ran towards him and opened the fridge, shocked to see nothing inside. "Shit," he thought. No one had gone out to their local Publix that day. It was Kenny's turn that day to go, but his life had been cut short by xQc. 

"Thorry, I gueth we're out of food but I can...go and get thome, be right back!" Sollux yelled running out through the door towards the super market. 

"Well fuck. I think I know what we have to do," Anthony said reluctantly. "Come with me, babe." 

The pair walked up the stairs and could hear xqc streaming. He was yelling, he was crazy, he was going insane. The two looked at each other and nodded. MC Ride opened his door slowly, as to make not a sound, and tip-toed towards their target. Anthony followed behind again. God he was such a pussy. xQc's chat as going crazy. monkaWs and BEHIND YOU @xQcOW everywhere. Alas, xQc was too invested in the game he was playing. 

MC grabbed his target's neck and held him in place as Anthony darted up, grasping his sickle with his sweaty fingers. He carved every tooth out of xQc, his mouth bleeding in agony as the couple ran out of his room to the kitchen. 

"Ohhh my god," xQc said, trying his best to end his stream, for he did not want to receive a ban on his channel. And there it was. Banned for showing violence. Good Bye xQc. 

Downstairs, Anthony and MC Ride stood hunched over the teeth they had just harvested. "Let's separate them," Anthony said. "I-I mean, I m-meant, split them, I-" MC Ride pulled his partner in for a kiss. He hated him to get all worried. "I understand, babe," He reassured. They split the teeth between themselves and ate, filling their stomachs with the sweet bone. 

"I-Is this gonna be in us forever?" Anthony asked, sweating. 

"I don't know, but, it sure did taste good," MC replied.


	4. xqc goes nuts he goes HAM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> youll see

xQc, sitting outraged at his computer, was doing his best to make a new Twitch account to stream to his loving fans. He would have to advertise it on his discord server, and hope that it would get at least SOME media attention. 

His next goal was simple: Put MC Ride and Anthony in jail for their human crimes. He left his shared and home and ran to the police station. 

When he arrived, he began to explain his problem to the man at the desk, Bernie Sanders. 

"Bernie," xQc said, "These people, they took my teeth." Bernie looked perplexed. "Sorry, sir, I don't understand. Capitalism is awful?" 

xQc could feel the unhinged rage welling up inside himself. "No, cucklord, my teeth, gone," and he pointed to his mouth." Bernie nodded knowingly. "Ah, I get it," he started, "Donald Trump has taken your teeth for his master-plans? God, the bastard. Here, I know how I can help," and Bernie picked up a form and slid it across the desk to xQc. "Your problems prove how hard it is to deal with a country where capitalism reins supreme. If I get enough people to sign this form, socialism could tower over the tumor that is a capitalist society. From there, we can morph it into anarcho-communism, one step at a time." He whispered this all into the Gamer's ear....xQc blushed. He had never met anyone more handsome. 

"Shit," xQc said, "D-d-dude, I don't know if like, I should like, do this dude because you see it might, it might get me in trouble, correct?" Bernie lowered his eyelids, relaxed. He moved his arms to grab xQc's, and kissed him. He kissed his lips and it was beautiful. "Oh my god......." xQc gasped... he signed the form immediately with love. "Thank you, Bernie," he said, and ran off. 

Ring ring. It's the police. Bernie picked up his phone and answered. "Hey, Mother Fucker, you up and cheating on this pretty ass again? FUCK, I swear if I have to go over there I MOTHER FUCKING WILL," the voice from the phone said. Bernie kept his calm and collected composure easily, a skill he had been practicing for a while. "Babe, it wasn't anything serious. You know I still love you. It was just for the, you know, form. No worries." The voice sighed. "Ah, right. Just making sure. Love you," and the voice hung up. Bernie sat back in his chair, reclining it ever so slightly. He was the mastermind in this game. And yet, no one knew.

**Author's Note:**

> i am god


End file.
